Bizarre Ways that Copywriting Can Kill You Suddenly

Laura Ginn

Photo by NASA Crew
Photo by NASA Crew

Many people are drawn to copywriting because it is a much safer job than a lot of other things out there.  You don’t have to worry about getting robbed and shot like you would if you were a clerk at a petrol station or liquor store, you don’t have to deal with insane amounts of stress like you would have to put up with if you were a high powered executive.  You also don’t have to worry about an explosion or sudden decompression like you would have to worry about if you were an astronaut.  Overall, copywriting is a very safe profession to be in.  That doesn’t mean that it is completely without risk though.  Here are some bizarre ways that copywriting can kill you suddenly.

Death By Radon: The Silent Killer

Radon is a very radioactive gas that cannot be seen, smelled or tasted.  That makes it very dangerous.  Over 40,000 people die from radon gas every year.  Many people live in houses that are filled with radon gas without even knowing it.  Now, many copywriters work from home in home offices that are commonly placed in basements, where radon gas typically enters from.  You can be sitting at your desk one day, just like any other and then BOOM!  Next thing you know you’re falling over dead from radon poisoning.

Being Poisoned, Shot Four Times, Castrated, Beaten and Then Thrown Into a River

This is probably the most bizarre way that copywriting can kill you suddenly.  You will be sitting at your desk one day, doing some copywriting just like you do every day, when suddenly a group of people decide that your copywriting has given you far too much power over the Tsarina and you are therefore a threat to the empire that must be eliminated.  Thankfully, this one is so bizarre you shouldn’t really be at risk of it happening to you, unless your name is Rasputin.

Being Drowned By a Flood of Molasses

You should always be aware of the possibility that every time you sit down at your desk to do some copywriting, you are risking your life.  That is because at any moment you could be drowned or crushed by a flood of molasses that will destroy anything and everything in its path.  Does that sound crazy to you?  Well it shouldn’t sound too crazy, because that is exactly what happened in Boston, MA in 1919 when the Boston Molasses Disaster occurred.  A large storage tank full of molasses ruptured and sent a wave of them flooding through the roads of Boston at 35mph.  21 people died and another 150 were injured.

Being Crushed By a Giant Stack of Newspapers and Books That You Have Hoarded

If you are like a lot of writers, odds are you may have a lot of books and newspapers lying around.  “Reference Materials” you may call them.  However, those giant stacks of reference materials could end up turning your office into a tomb!  That was what happened to Langley Collyer in 1947.  Langley Colyer was an obsessive hoarder, whose house was filled with newspapers and other items.  As he was crawling through one of the newspaper tunnels he had constructed, one collapsed trapping him until he died.  His body was discovered several weeks later.  Granted, Collyer was a paranoid recluse who set booby traps up in his tunnels and may have accidentally set off one of his own traps, but it should still be enough to have you think twice before you add another book to that giant stack by your desk.